The superior man practices opening during these times of automatic closure.
THE WAY OF THE SUPERIOR MAN FREE
You are trapped in your own self-protective tension, no longer a free man.
Contracted and closed in on yourself, you are unable to act. These are signs of an unskillful reaction to hurt. Notice if there are times when you find it difficult to look into someone's eyes, or times your chest and solar plexus become tense and contracted. How do you react with your body, breath, and eyes? Notice if you react to a person or situation that hurts you by withdrawing, hiding, or closing in on yourself. Imagine failing at a major project, lying to your woman and getting caught, or overhearing her joke about your shortcomings in bed. He should learn to stay in the wound of pain and act with spontaneous skill and love even from that place. If necessary, a man should live with a hurting heart rather than a closed one. A superior man is free in feeling and action, even amidst great pain and hurt. Every moment waited is a moment wasted, and each wasted moment degrades your clarity of purpose.Ĭlosing down in the midst of pain is a denial of a man's true nature. Feel what you want to give most as a gift, to your woman and to the world, and do what you can to give it today. Men who have lived significant lives are men who never waited: not for money, security, ease, or women. You are either living fully, giving your gift in the midst of those challenges, even today, or you are waiting for an imaginary future which will never come. The world and your woman will always present you with unforeseen challenges. The love that you magnify may realign her behavior, but your effort to fix her and your frustration never will. Learn to find humor in the unending emotional drama the feminine seems to enjoy so much. You can't escape the tussle with the feminine. Practice love instead of trying to bring an end to the quality that bothers you. Embrace her, or wrestle with her, or scream and yell for the heck of it, but make no effort to bring an end to that which pisses you off. The next time you notice yourself trying to fix your woman so that she will no longer _ (fill in the blank), relax and give her love by touching her and telling her that you love her when she is this way (whatever you filled in the blank with). However, if you find her behavior or mood is merely distasteful or a hassle, realize that she will always seem this way: The feminine always seems chaotic and complicated from the perspective of the masculine. If your woman's behavior or mood is truly intolerable to you, you should leave her, and don't look back (since you cannot change her). Assume she's going to be however she is, forever. In addition to the myth that one day your life will be fundamentally different, you may believe, and hope, that one day your woman will be fundamentally different.
As a first step, spend at least an hour today giving your fullest gift, whatever that is for today, so that when you go to sleep at night you know you couldn't have lived your day with more courage, creativity, and giving. Find out today whether you are willing to do what it takes to give your gift fully. Limited money and family obligations have never stopped a man who really wanted to do something, although they provide excuses for a man who is not really up to the creative challenge in the first place. Most postponements are excuses for a lack of creative discipline. However, be forewarned: you may discover that you don't, or can't, do it that in fact, your fantasy of your future life is simply a fantasy. Spend at least one hour a day doing whatever you simply love to do-what you deeply feel you need to do, in your heart-in spite of the daily duties that seem to constrain you. Don't believe in the myth of "one day when everything will be different." Do what you love to do, what you are waiting to do, what you've been born to do, now. As of now, spend a minimum of one hour a day doing whatever you are waiting to do until your finances are more secure, or until the children have grown and left home, or until you have finished your obligations and you feel free to do what you really want to do. It's never going to be over, so stop waiting for the good stuff. As long as life continues, the creative challenge is to tussle, play, and make love with the present moment while giving your unique gift. The masculine error is to think that eventually things will be different in some fundamental way. They think, "If I can work enough, then one day I could rest." Or, "One day my woman will understand something and then she will stop complaining." Or, "I'm only doing this now so that one day I can do what I really want with my life." Most men make the error of thinking that one day it will be done.
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